


nobody said it was easy

by rosegoldblood



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula (mentioned) - Freeform, Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Pining, Post-Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, its not explicitly romantic but like... its pretty sapphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26263531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldblood/pseuds/rosegoldblood
Summary: ty lee betrayed azula, and mai wants to know why.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	nobody said it was easy

**Author's Note:**

> they're probably out of character, sorry about that. anyway mailee supremacy (ꈍᴗꈍ)  
> this is my first atla fic, so it's probably not very good, but i hope you enjoy it anyway.

_"i guess you just don't know people as well as you think you do."_

back at the palace, when they were kids, azula and ty lee and mai would sit in the gardens together. they'd watch the fountain, water flowing through stone and lily pads floating atop the glassy liquid. ty lee knew, no matter how much she tried to deny it, that mai had loved feeding the turtleducks and playing hide-and-seek, even if azula won every time.

_"you miscalculated. i love zuko more than i fear you."_

the memory made a nervous churning twist in ty lee's stomach, even as she focused on staying calm, on keeping her aura as pink as it could be in a dirty, grey prison. mai hadn't said a word, not since they'd been carried to the cell, not since she'd had her knives taken away.

"why did you do it?" mai asked, finally, voice hoarse and deep as it always was. ty lee always thought, in her head, that although the other nobles seemed to dislike how low it was, mai's voice was the kind of thing that could set her to sleep, pleasant and comforting in a familiar way.

her question made ty lee pause for a moment. "do what?" she replied, though deep inside she knew what mai was talking about. mai was quiet again, and ty lee was afraid she'd done something wrong. mai was so hard to decipher. it was one of the things that made her so interesting.

eventually, though, mai spoke up again. "why did you betray azula?" her fingers flexed, like she ached to throw a knife at someone. ty lee wouldn't be so surprised if that was what mai really was feeling. "you've always been closer to her than me. you should've let me go."

"mai, i would never," ty lee protested, shuffling over to lean by mai's side, placing her own hand over mai's, which were folded in her lap. "you know i care about you."

"more than you care about azula?" her voice was flat, no emotion beneath it. ty lee wished she knew how mai felt, wished mai would open up for once instead of being so deadpan and cold all the time. she wished mai would trust her. 

ty lee looked down. "i love azula," she admitted, and it felt good to say. because she _did_ love azula. mai raised her eyebrows, turning her head slightly to look at ty lee. "i really do."

back at the palace, azula would ask ty lee what her favourite flowers and animals were, and she'd create them with fire. small, childish orange-red depictions in the air, lined up and neat and undoubtedly, wholly _azula._ that had been before her fire had turned blue, before she'd grown too cold to salvage.

she'd ask ty lee to teach her cartwheels, backflips, all sorts of acrobatics. it made ty lee feel special, wanted, separate. her sisters might have looked just like her, but only ty lee got to speak to the princess of the fire nation! only she had the privilege of hugging her, pinning her hair up with flowers, watching the sunset with her.

but azula, despite her riches and her prodigious firebending, suffered. ty lee knew that, knew something was wrong, but she'd always been too naive and young. too innocent to realise the way her father spoke to her, not like she was his daughter, but like she was an object.

a weapon.

"i don't think azula is bad," ty lee said, even though it was a little off-topic, stroking at her hair at the end of her braid, "i don't think she's ever been bad, mai. i think she's just a natural product of the world she grew up in."

"i don't remember asking you that," mai responded, though there was a small smile on her face. ty lee lit up at this, delighted at the fact that mai was finally begin to express herself. maybe ty lee was doing something right, then. "but you're right."

they fell into silence, and ty lee brushed her fingers through her hair. mai had always been so... dull, but ty lee knew it wasn't as simple as that. she, of all people, knew how to see past the surface. she remembered, one night - at the palace, but azula had gone to talk to her mother, leaving ty lee and mai alone in her room.

she remembered asking mai what she thought of azula - why she asked it, she hadn't known. maybe that'd been the day azula had fallen down doing a cartwheel, pushing ty lee over, sending her crashing to the ground, in jealousy. her knee had hurt the rest of the day, and she'd felt bad about it all afternoon.

ty lee still remembered what mai had said. _i think she's in pain._ she doubted mai remembered; it'd been years, after all, and it was just one out of many sleepovers and days where azula had wronged either of them. but it had stuck with ty lee, made her wonder.

then mai had offered to patch her leg up. her fingers were soft, not yet callused and rough from handling knives all the time, as they pressed against the skin of ty lee's knee, wrapping a fabric bandage around and around the small scrape. so tiny it was barely there.

that was the first time ty lee felt the familiar feeling of burning through her heart. it was unlike azula's, though; when she was around azula, her fire felt like destruction, like devastation, like cruelty. the fire that ignited in her chest whenever mai smiled at her, or held her hand as she led her through the palace gardens, was so much different.

it felt like kindness. like hope. like a campfire burning in the middle of the night, sparks and embers floating through the air, bright orange and beautiful. it felt like creation.

"i wish azula let us help her," mai said, and though her voice was still deadpan there was now something underneath it, a tinge of emotion. regret, maybe, or wistfulness. what could have been.

"well, you have zuko, don't you?" ty lee asked, even though the words caught in her throat and made something squeeze around her heart. the thought of mai and zuko, together... it felt wrong. she felt terrible for feeling it, but it felt like she was losing something.

mai hummed. "sure. but i never loved him in the way i was supposed to," she said, and though ty lee felt guilty she also felt her heart soar at her words. she wrapped her arms around mai, and surprisingly, mai let her, a small smile curving on her lips again. it made ty lee feel like her soul was growing too big for her body.

"i betrayed azula because i loved you more than i loved her," she whispered. and maybe it was only half-true, maybe the fondness she had for azula would never truly go away. but that was the azula she knew, the azula she'd been before. the azula that was gone, now, killed by the girl at the boiling rock, so prepared to strike down her best friend.

and it wasn't easy, turning her back on the girl she used to love. but then again, there was another girl, right here, long black hair tied into buns and her narrow eyes tawny and deep and brown.

"...i love you too, ty lee."


End file.
